Miscellany

Bill Gates owes Alan Sugar

When I was 39 I decided to take my writing seriously. I bought a state-of-the art electronic typewriter. The price made my husband's jaws drop.

Before I'd mastered the manual, I saw an ad. on British TV for the Amstrad. This centred round workers chucking their old machines out the window to embrace the new computer revolution promised by Alan Sugar's affordable PC.

Under the spell of this modern-day Svengali I raced down to the High Street and bought my very first computer. My husband couldn't get over it. "You just bought that typewriter," he said. Such fine phrases as 'cost-effective', 'user-friendly' and 'increased productivity' went over his head. He was sobbing quietly into his hankie.

Computer whizz-kids sneered at the Amstrad and pointed out its limitations. "Locoscript isn't really a word-processing program," they said. I acknowledged its deficiencies and loved it anyway. Computer manuals can seriously damage your health so I threw mine away and made friends with the help key.

I learned the hard way that back-ups are essential when I lost three chapters from the hard disk through digital incompetence. I learned the fallacy of wizzy-wig and the truth of the old adage, 'Garbage in and garbage out'. As for those nerds and geeks, what did they know? The Amstrad was made for people like me. Short on money and short on time. Computer virgins.

I was madly in love with my keen, mean, green machine. Together we burnt the midnight oil and created new poetry and prose. The daisy-wheel went rat-a-tat-tat and printed out pristine and professional submissions that won me friends and influenced people. As musical to my ears was the ching-ching-ching of the money rolling in.

Now I'm a dedicated word-processor who's totally in control. I am the master and the machine is my slave. It endows me with powers to edit - that skill that separates professional writer from amateur. As Dhondy says, "The only true writer is a rewriter." Before if I changed a single word or comma I had to retype the whole page. Cut and paste was literally that. Slips of paper went AWOL. The glue was everywhere except where it should be.

Computers liberated me from that drudgery and set me free to write. As I grew in confidence and competence, I got cocky. I organised myself as if I were a company: Jenny Argante Ltd. - writer, researcher, information specialist and Freecell junkie. The computer helped with all these roles - and in the household. I had 28 days of menus with shopping lists incorporated. I had my files indexed and annotated. I had two correspondence databases, personal and professional, and utilised mail-merge fully.

Wherever I was - in writers' groups, at college or in the library - I enthused about the Amstrad. My friends and colleagues bought Amstrads, too. If I'd been on commission I'd have made a bomb. I was the 'Nelly' that new owners sat next to and learned what to do. Our Amstrad self-help users' group spread the word. Hallelujah!

Almost casually the college where I taught decided to buy six Amstrads and put me in charge of them. I started to run Access and NOW* courses. Exuberantly I taught the joy of computers to men and women out of work and low on expectations. As they got to grips with the Amstrad, that friendly little beast, hope bloomed, and self-esteem. Home they went beaming broadly and clutching to their bosoms documents and databases of all kinds, especially CVs and business plans.

Soon they outgrew the Amstrad, and so did I. I became a freelance preparing online information bulletins for clients. I wrote books on my IBM with its huge megabytes and generous RAM and ROM. I did data input for international scientific and medical databases and casually undertook Internet research for consultants and engineers. I swapped snail mail for e-mail and learned to evaluate websites for content and style. I set up new learning resource centres in colleges and universities. I worked in a school and learned how much the younger generation knew.

Today my home office boasts iMac state-of-the art technology that is highly user-friendly and extremely profitable. But you don't ever forget your first love, do you? And so I won't go to Heaven if my Amstrad's not there.

© Jenny Argante

* NOW = New Opportunities for Women

Note: I estimate this is 95% fact, and 5% wishful thinking.

posted by Jenny Argante @ 1:49 AM